Big Barrier In Life

Huargh! MasyaAllah, penatnye... Dah dekat 2 minggu aku balik lewat dr school. Lepas kerja terus ke school balik dan balik dalam kul 9 ke 10. Pastu, kalau rajin, aku masak lak mlm tu.

Ni baru je lepas makan la ni. Buat tuna pasta. Sedap gak. Sesaje je buat resepi sendiri... Dah xde barang. Masak je apa yg ada. Sedap gak. Masuk hr ni, dah kali kedua aku buat masakan ni. Senang je. No hassle nyer lah!

Dah lama x tulis... Mlm ni tergerak gak nak tulis, walaupun mata dah separuh kuyu. Letak kepala atas bantal, alamat lena la ni...

Anyway, masa aku jalan2 nak balik tadi aku terpikir pasal workshop yg masih x habis lagi. Nak calculate barrier energy, reaction energy, frequency, etc... Sambil2 aku terpikir pasal barrier energy, aku terbayang... Sebenarnya, bukannya pembentukan/ tindak balas molekul je yg ada barrier...kita pun ada barrier. Ada yg rendah, ada yg tinggi. Cuma kita kena tahu how many 'energy' yg perlu utk mengatasi barrier tersebut. Energy di sini bolehlah ditafsirkan sebagai effort/usaha. Lagi tinggi barrier, lagi byk effort yg kita kena beri. Barrier lak, macam penghalang, kalau bahasa kimianya, tenaga pengaktifan.

Kita ambil analogi molekul tadi. Bila kita dah melepasi barrier, perjalanan kita jadi lebih mudah, seperti menuruni bukit. Dan akhirnya kedudukan kita akan lebih tinggi dari yg awal tadi. Maksudnya di sini, taraf kita bila kita dah melepasi sesuatu penghalang akan lebih baik atau lebih tinggi. Tak kiralah dari segi apa pun... Harta, ilmu, anything. Kalau harta, dr kaya bertambah kaya..dan kalau ilmu, dr tak faham, jadi lebih memahami...

Macam tu la jugak dgn workshop aku nih. Memula buat tu, asyik2 crash je prog aku nih...Link Died!... Tension gak.. Tapi bila tanya dgn lect, dan kengkawan...Betulkan begitu begini, okay dah dia. Tu pun 5 kali crash dah tu... At last, alhamdulillah... Lepas je satu prog tu, dah okay utk buat yg lainnya...

Bila difikir balik, byk sebenarnya barrier yg perlu aku tempuhi dlm hidup ni. Ada yg susah, ada yg mudah. Hanya kesabaran dan ketabahan hati yg dpt mengatasinya. Dan, yg paling penting, ianya berlaku dgn izin drNya.

"Dialah (Allah) yang memudahkan kamu bergerak atau mengembara di daratan dan di lautan hingga bila kamu berada dalam bahtera dengan tiupan angin yang baik dan mereka bergembira dalam pelayaran itu.Tiba-tiba datanglah angin kencang dan ombak besar menggulung dari setiap penjuru. Ketika itu mereka menyangka bahawa diri mereka tidak akan terlepas lagi daripada bahaya, lalu mereka pun berdoalahmemohon pertolongan Allah dengan penuh keikhlasan sambil berkata: "Ya Allah, kiranya Engkau selamatkan kami daripada mara bahaya ini, kami akan jadi orang-orang yang bersyukur kepadaMu" (Surah Yunus: 23)

Ngantuk dah... Bye!

Betapa Indah Utk Memahami & Difahami

I don’t know how to express myself. But, this is the most enjoyable weekend in my life. Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahuakbar!

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Alangkah seronoknya bila kita dapat memahami sesuatu… Apa yg hendak disampaikan dlm pelajaran, life, atau apa yg org nak kita faham. Aku tahu, aku bukan org yg baik bila membuat keputusan. Seringkali keliru. Terutamanya dlm membuat keputusan dlm hidup aku.

Tapi, aku rasa aku merupakan seorg pendengar yg baik. Cuma, sejak kebelakangan ni, aku agak sukar utk memahaminya. Ada yg aku agak faham, tapi ada juga yg x paham. Maybe, sebab utama aku x paham ialah sbb aku takleh terima pendapat dia kot. Aku faham yg dia faham, tapi aku x faham knp dia berubah. Tidak spt dulu…

Takpelah… mmg dia byk ilmu drku. So, maybe apa yg aku lihat betul, tp bg dia xberapa tepat. Entahle… Aku ni asyik ikut perasaan diri je. Takpelah… Maybe lepas nih boleh latih diri utk memahami.

“Ya Allah, kurniakanlah daku kefahaman yg baik spt kefahaman nabi2mu….”

Moga sentiasa dlm redhaNya.

A Dizzy Day

Entahle.. aku pun tatau apa perasaan aku sekarang ni. Pening2 sikit. Sejak bangun pagi tadi. Bila pakai contact rasa lebih teruk. Mungkin sebab kanta lekap tuh aa. Dah lama gak aku x tukar. Tapi aku x pakai pun. Buka dan simpan je. Kalau nak jangkakan masa aku pakai, baru je 3 minggu. Tapi bila pakai sekarang ni dah kabur. So, aku membuat keputusan utk pakai cermin mata ke kelas hr nih. Tapi mata aku masih rasa kering dan masa aku berjalan ke kelas rasa cam terbang. Huhuhu.. ntah ape yg terjadi kat aku nih. Tak leh ank beri tumpuan. Walaupun masa aku berjalan. Ya Allah… pelik betul. Mungkin sbb byk tido kot.

Tido??

Ha…mmg sejak kebelakangan ni aku byk tido. Macam dalam satu cerita omputih nih… ‘SB’. Korang teka aa apa die… Sebab tension kot. Urat leher aku rasa tegang. Kesian tul kat aku. Ahahaha… Allah dah tarik balik nikmat summer tu. Aku tak guna dgn betul ke? Agaknye kot. Teruk betul aku ni kan?

Workshop aku x sempat nak abis minggu ni. Aku minta tunda minggu depan. Nasib baik pensyarah aku nih baik. Bukan sesaja je… tapi sebab komputer aku ada masalah skit. Kene aa wat kat komputer lain. Dahlah data summer xleh recover balik. Takpe aa.. ujian Allah.. Tapi, nampaknye, aku akan byk ketinggalan aa. Eh! Xleh camni… Aku kena work hard… Kurangkan tido…

Okay, lega skit bila benda2 yg aku nak luahkan dah terluah kat sini. Kalau tak, lagi serabai kepala otak aku nih. Till the next episode of me.. Tata!!!

P/s: aku xleh tulis dlm BI byk2 sbb tgh kat kelas nih. Nnt org2 kat sebelah aku nih paham laks. Tu aa pasal bahasa summer skema giler. Macam kat novel laks!

My World

“Can't help if I space in a daze,
My eyes tune out the other way,
I may switch off and go in a daydream,
In this head my thoughts are deep,
But sometimes I can't even speak,
Would someone be and not pretend?
I'm off again in my World…”

Kelas hr nih diajar oleh seorg lect jemputan dr Daresbury lab. Lect aku kata dia nih terror bab2 parameterised method nih. Terutama bab forcefield. Sbb dia nih ada cipta/improvekan software baru utk menjitukan lagi modeling. Bestnye!

Tapi, malangnya, bila dia bagi lect, aku rasa xbyk yg aku faham. Laju sungguh dia ni bercakap. Nasib baik slides ada utk membantu pemahaman aku. Tapi, xlam pastu, aku jadi cam lagu kat atas tuh. Dreaming, like living in another world. Pikir pasal benda lain lak. Apa yg lect tu cakap xmasuk ke otak. Masuk telinga kanan, keluar telinga kiri. Aku xtak leh nak tumpu perhatian! Ya Allah…. Rasa sedih dan bersalah sgt. Aku try utk concentrate, but I can’t. What the lect said seems just like a buzz around my ear. Astaghfirullah!

Aku terfikirkan pasal life, cabaran dan dugaannya, masa depan aku, macam2la lagi. Hm… memang aku sebenarnya seorg yg suka berangan. Aku tahu, berangan tu bagus. Tapi, dlm keadaan ni… tak patut langsung! Geram giler dgn diri aku and at the same time, tak tahu nak wat apa.

Hmmm… My world… full of illusion… but, will it come true? InsyaAllah. If I plan and work for it. Sometimes aku rasa agak sukar nak meluahkan sesuatu melalui kata2. Don’t have the best word to describe it. Or, maybe because lack of confidence… Keyakinan… di manakah engkau?

With the wind it come, and with the wind it gone : A Snowy Tale

I didn't have class today. So just spend all the time in my SWEET comfy room. Studying. But, it was not really comfy today. It was very cold. Really damn cold!. I touched the heater... Nothing wrong. It is warm as usual. But it still not enough for the whole room. I think. The coldness is unusual today. Its icy cold!. Shut the window. Still cold. Hah! What i'm gonna do? Can't stand the cold.

Aaahhh! Something pop up in my mind. Maybe it'll snow! Coz it does feel like this the last time it snowed. But I missed the snow. Cause I was sleeping. It was in the midnight, though. And its cold. Exactly like today. Hmm... I wonder. Looked up in the sky. It was cloudy. The weather forecast said it'll snow this week, on Tuesday. But Tuesday was yesterday, and nothing happened, and the sky was brightly clear. Nah... the weather forecast can't be trusted. The weather changes all the time here. Or.. maybe today it'll snow? I said to myself. Seems like it. Anyway, we'll se bout it. Only Allah knows.

Opened the cupboard. Took Suhaila's sweater, covered myself with duvet. Ah...better now. Decided to study on bed. Well... you know what will happened as we study in bed? Hahaha... Dozed off most of the time. But its still okay rather than not studying. I kept telling myself for not falling asleep. But its cold, and so comfy, and so warm under the duvet, and zzZzzZZ.....

In the afternoon, after breaking my fast, I went to work. But it started to rain. I went out quite late today. Because Maghrib prayer time is quite late these days. Opened my umbrella and walked in the rain. At first it rained heavily. Wow! its really looks like one of the rain in Malaysia. It seldom rain like this. But I just ignore it.

3 minutes later....

The rain which is coming down turned to ice! Well... Its hail rain, I think. Subhanallah. I kept walking....


After 1 minutes...

I realized that it wasn't just hail rain. Its snow! looked up in the sky... Subhanallah... Nothing more than that that I could say. Just praised be to Him... I saw the snow coming down blown by the wind. My jumper is also covered by snow. I dont know how could I express myself. It was so fast. Without I'm really expecting it.

Then I think... Why don't I excape from work today? You're half wet already. I'm trying to be cheeky... But the other of me said....Hmm.... But its nearly half way now, and you're not that wet. So, I decided to go to work today.

Still keep on walking. It was peak time. So, there's a lot of people going back home. Walking by the street. And the street.... All covered by icy snow. All become white. I stepped it. Turned back, and saw my foot steps. Nice! Very touching. I think all the moment there is very touching. Hahaha....

Kept smiling all the way to work. Even though I knew I was quite late for the it. Hehehe... Don didn't say anything, so I just kept quiet, and smiled. I think I can't stop smiling that time. But manage to control myself, so it won't look so obvious.

It end up that I finished my work late. Well... Its okay. Can't wait to see the snow on the way home. But, unluckily, most of it was gone. Only a little bit of ice here and there. OOhhh... man! It melted. For just 2 and half hour! Why can't it stay a little bit longger? Muttering with my own self.

But there's still some of the ice on the car. Its nice! Just don't have the camera to take this memorable moment. Well... maybe next time. InsyaAllah. The sky was clear again. I can see the half moon and stars shining. Just like my heart.. Hehehe...

When I came into my room, put all my things down, and went to my friend's room. Can't wait to tell her about today. She said that the rest of my flatmate, except Yinka and me, went down and play with the snow. They took pictures, and play snowball! Wow! I wanna play too... I said. She showed me the pictures that they've taken. Nice!

Well... maybe next time... And next time it will be. InsyaAllah.

Snow...
It came with the wind...
And gone with the wind...
Hope you'll come again and stay a little bit longer!
InsyaAllah...

Malaysia was on TV!

Sambil memasak makan mlm, aku menonton televisyen. Guess… what’s did I saw? Malaysia was on tv! Seronok giler aku. Heheh…

A short 30 minutes documentary called ‘Pacio’ in Welsh language, showed in S4C channel. Sebuah channel yg aku rasa hanya terdapat di Wales jer. Cakap pun dlm bahasa Wales.

Memula mcm tak caya je. Tapi, sbb dia sebut Malaysia byk kali, aku pun ‘on’kan teletext kat tv. Aku pun sebenarnya tak paham bahasa Welsh tu. Lain dr yg lain. Bahasa yg hanya ada di Welsh. Rasa nak je aku panggil semua housemate aku dtg reramai utk tengok negara aku ni. Malaysia. Tapi malangnya, sorg ada exam esok, sorg keluar sbb ada Chinese New Year’s party, sorg ntah ke mana, dan yg sorg lagi baru habis dinner dgn boyfriend dia.

So, tinggal aku sorg la yg seronok tahap dewa (kata atirah) menonton siaran tu…

It was just a documentary yg menunjukkan 3 tempat menarik yg patut dilawati di Malaysia, dan… of course, ada kaitan dgn penjajahan British. Cameron Highlands, Kuala Lumpur, dan Pulau Pangkor.

Di sini, baru aku tau serba sedikit kisah penjajahan British di Cameron Highland dan Pulau Pangkor. Serta beberapa fakta menarik. Kat Cameron Highland tu, biasalah… dipaparkan tentang keindahan ladang teh, bunga, serta buah-buahan yg ada. Semuanya murah2 belaka (Bagi mereka). Dikatakan juga bahawa hotel di Cameron Highland ni murah sebab kita dpt layanan istimewa (dgn seorg butler lagi tuh) utk hanya ₤60 semalam, yg mana di UK ni nilainya hanya utk hotel bertaraf biasa je. Mana taknye, ₤60 tu je dah RM360++. Maunye tak dpt first class!!!

Di KL pulak, dipaparkan KLCC, Merdeka Square, KTM, Dayabumi, Central Market, dan tempat beribadat bg 3 penganut agama yg utama di Malaysia. Kuil Hindu, Tokong Cina dan last sekali Masjid Negara. Dianggarkan bahawa masjid tu boleh menempatkan 8000 jemaah. Subhanallah… Pastu, ada part yg Mat Salleh ni pi ke Petaling Street. Tau lah kan, kat situ kan byk benda murah.. Mat Salleh ni tanya aa berapa harga jam yg si uncle Cina ni jual. Dia kata 150. Mat Salleh ni pun bargain aa utk dpt harga yg lebih murah. Nak tau brp dia bargain? “Can you give me two for 50?” Uncle tu terus kata “okay!’. Begitu mudah sekali. Pastu pengacara tu kata “This only cost about ₤4 each!.” Petaling Street waktu malam pun dia tunjuk. Betapa ramai dan meriahnya org2 kat situ. Pelbagai kaum dan bangsa. “The night which never sleep.” Mana taknye, Kat UK ni, kul 5 je semua kedai tutup. Yang tinggal hanya bar, restoran dan minimarket yg dipunyai oleh non-european. So, senyap sunyi le jln2 depa nih. Mcm dah tgh malam. Padahal baru pukul 6 ptg.

Pulau Pangkor, x byk sangat dia cerita. Just keindahan pantai dan kemudahan penginapan yg ada. Ha… lupa pulak. Kat sini juga disediakan kemudahan motosikal utk mengelilingi kampung. Harganya cuma ₤6 = RM36++ jer…

Hm.. itulah serba sedikit pasal Malaysia. Tak sangka pulak aku betapa indahnya tanah tumpah darah ku ini. Bukan aku x perasan selama ni. Memang dah bangga pun. Cuma kali ni terasa lebih2 la pulak bangganya.

Subhanallah.. Betapa indahnya ciptaanMu. Ke mana sahaja aku pergi, bila melihat panorama yg indah ni, terasa akan kebesaranMu. Aku rasa lepas ni mesti ramai org2 Welsh yg akan dtg ke Malaysia. Jgn bertambah maksiatnya, sudah la…

Okaylah… panjang pula celoteh aku ni.

p/s: Bila baca balik, baru aku perasan yg penulisan aku ni byk perkataan ‘pastu’ dan ‘sebab’. Ni pun dah kurang sebab dah ditapis. Ntah2 aku pun cakap camni ek? Hish kena ubah aa gaya aku nih. Kena tambah vocab dan penghubung kata…