A time for reflection

By JOANNE KEK

As a woman turns 27, she pauses to pen a letter to her 17-year-old self.

GOSH, isn’t the world your oyster. At 17, you’re still a gawky kid, nervous and unsure about going to the big city. You’ll eventually turn out to be a pretty good-looking pearl, even though you don’t know it yet.

It will take a couple of years before you finally start to feel comfortable in your own skin. In time, you’ll get there, and you’ll be surprised to know that you don’t need to change very much to feel that way.

You will leave the boy you’re currently with and, one Valentine’s day shortly thereafter, another boy will call, wake you up from an afternoon nap and ask you to meet him at his car. Then he’ll produce a Valentine’s day card (which you still keep), and you’ll fall so, so head over heels in love. Some of your best memories of your early 20s? He’ll be in them.

You will learn what makes a good relationship. But you’ll also learn that people change, and they come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. That boy was a reason or a season – and one day, he will leave. You’ll cry, you will question, but you’ll be okay.

As you grow older, you will realise that a lot of what mum told you is true. And dad? He will mellow and eventually even work on trying to get you married! Spend time with mum ... because you won’t have much time left. You will be surprised to realise that you’ll wonder what she would say or do at key milestones in your life.

Career? Scrap the pharmacist/doctor bit, babe. You definitely didn’t see this coming – but you really have a passion for numbers, and a surprising attention to detail, even though you are still messy and don’t clean or organise very well.

Remember that family trumps all. When the shit hits the fan, they’ll be the ones helping you clean up. Make friends with everyone, but keep selected ones close.

Say less and listen more. Show compassion; pass less judgment; pause to think and reflect.

Do everything you want to do – yes, even entering a beauty contest. And don’t chicken out once you’ve been shortlisted as a finalist because you are young, and you’ve got nothing to lose.

I suppose I should let you know that you won’t be married at your ideal age of 24. In fact, I’m not even sure if you’ll be married before you hit the big 30. But you’ll be okay. You have to be.

Instead of waiting for someone to buy you a home, you will buy one yourself. Although you’ll be fiercely independent, remember to retain what makes you a woman – compassion, grace, bouts of tears and, of course, class.

And, there is nothing some sleep and a long hot bath cannot improve.

Happy birthday, gal. From your older self, who always wants to be some parts woman, and many parts girl.