“Can't help if I space in a daze,
My eyes tune out the other way,
I may switch off and go in a daydream,
In this head my thoughts are deep,
But sometimes I can't even speak,
Would someone be and not pretend?
I'm off again in my World…”
Kelas hr nih diajar oleh seorg lect jemputan dr Daresbury lab. Lect aku kata dia nih terror bab2 parameterised method nih. Terutama bab forcefield. Sbb dia nih ada cipta/improvekan software baru utk menjitukan lagi modeling. Bestnye!
Tapi, malangnya, bila dia bagi lect, aku rasa xbyk yg aku faham. Laju sungguh dia ni bercakap. Nasib baik slides ada utk membantu pemahaman aku. Tapi, xlam pastu, aku jadi cam lagu kat atas tuh. Dreaming, like living in another world. Pikir pasal benda lain lak. Apa yg lect tu cakap xmasuk ke otak. Masuk telinga kanan, keluar telinga kiri. Aku xtak leh nak tumpu perhatian! Ya Allah…. Rasa sedih dan bersalah sgt. Aku try utk concentrate, but I can’t. What the lect said seems just like a buzz around my ear. Astaghfirullah!
Aku terfikirkan pasal life, cabaran dan dugaannya, masa depan aku, macam2la lagi. Hm… memang aku sebenarnya seorg yg suka berangan. Aku tahu, berangan tu bagus. Tapi, dlm keadaan ni… tak patut langsung! Geram giler dgn diri aku and at the same time, tak tahu nak wat apa.
Hmmm… My world… full of illusion… but, will it come true? InsyaAllah. If I plan and work for it. Sometimes aku rasa agak sukar nak meluahkan sesuatu melalui kata2. Don’t have the best word to describe it. Or, maybe because lack of confidence… Keyakinan… di manakah engkau?
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